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April and May

 

 
May 30
Well let us see what can I say.  I'm graduated.  I had a very good day yesterday(sunday).  The longest yard was quite funny, I went with some kids from the youth group and my dad I really don't mind that he came I think it was kinda spiffy.  Do not move furniture while other people are trying to sleep, it's not very nice.  I'm going to go and get on my little soap box over in the soap box section. 

May 24
Hello there.  I wish I could say what I want to but I fear I can not.  I will say that it does have to due to the fact that I speak my mind a little to often and without a censering program(I really need one)
 
On another note is it horribly bad that i really do worry more about hurting Herbert than myself getting hurt?  Is it wierd that i'm worried that now that we are out of school I'm worried about when I'm going to see him? Am I a complete loon? I think I must be, Someone call the funny farm ASAP!!

May 22
I have had a strange day.  It has been a month sence Prom.  Herbert and I have been an official thing for a week... I don't know how it is that prom seems like just the other day and this week seems like forever....someone give me an answer for that.
Krissy called me today, I really don't know what to think.  She told me that she's bi-sexual, Brandon has been telling me that aswell.  I don't know if I beliver her though because of her I'm Pregnate stunt.  I don't know what to think, I don't really care but at the same time I do, it's strange.  She is still my friend no matter what but it was a strange 20 minute phone call, I tell her I have a boyfriend and she tells me she's bi, oh my. 
I'm going to bed,  maybe I'l go out and do something tomorrow, I don't want to stay home I'm not sure what I'd do though.  I don't know I'm off to bed and tomorrow will be better right?

May 15th
Ok so Jesse and me have this nice little dance thing going on now, she dances and sings "Lindsay's got a boyfriend" and I come back with "Herbert's got a girlfriend", oy well it's true. 
I do have to say that I feel like a big Jello pile.  I feel like that a lot lately.  I went to the park with Shane and Travis and Jesse and Herbert today, I love the park!
Yes only down fall of today was that my back was killing me, I really was in pain, I'm banning myself from running because that and Shane running Jesse into me just didn't help me out at all but oh well such is life.  But yes I do love the park but when me and Jesse where stalking Herbert and Travis we got to climb around some not so fun stuff.  I don't know if Jesse saw the masive spider web with lots of little bugs stuck to it, that was not so fun but over all the time at the park was fun.  I slept in the grass, and then it started raining but thats ok I didn't melt and the rain is good.  Yes but I got to sleep some and that was good.  Anyways I'm off. 
PS-Herbert's got a girlfriend

May 8th
I went to see Kingdom of Heaven.  It was good, educational...Yes educational.  Orlando Bloom is a good actor, and the movie (as I have been told) is fairly accurate when talking about the knight templar (twas very very interasting)
 
On another note-I'm almost done with High School!  I'm happy and scared all at the same time. strange how that works, kind like when you want to say something but you don't know what it is and really just don't know the words to describe it or the emotion behind it.  Like when your own thoughts scare you into a silence...Yes anyways, maybe I should be a little more aware of when I am singing, I mean someone might hear me and then their ears might fall off so then where would I be?
Anyways I'm off cause I'm digging myself a hole and who knows what I might end up saying...

May 6th
It has been a long week.  Herbert came to the superchic[k] concert...I really didn't think that he would, I'm very happy he did.  About the concert,  Another Dream-good drummer, LA Symphonie-didn't like at all, Superchic[k]-very good, good songs too. 
I don't know what my problem is...I'm worried why I don't know I just keep hearing other peoples words playing in my head and I want to scream! They don't belong in my head, the can go and fix there own problem because I don't need them because I don't have the same problems they do,  I don't go through a guy in 5 minutes (at least I don't think I do/will).  I am not you! I don't need your two cents!! I have energy, and i will give it!!!!!!! so you can chill the freak out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok now that that's out, a little exsplanation? Ok I don't want to hear about why you and your boyfriend aren't working!  I help you with your issues but hearing about how you don't have the energy to deal with your boyfriend is nothing i want to hear.  Why? because i have the energy to give!!!!  I also don't want to hear everything that's wrong with me and why relationships don't work out for me.  Why? because I kinda like the one I'm in right now and even thought i don't know what we are techniqually I don't care I'm having fun and I think that I'm doing just fine!  Herbert has seen me bouncing of the walls and he didn't run away screaming so I think that my energy will do just fine and I will be fine.  He is handling me just fine so to bad for the boy(s) that couldn't handle me, their loss not mine.  GET OUT OF MY HEAD, I'M HAPPY SO CHILL!!!
 
Now all of that crazy ranting done I feel better.  I have Saturday School and then I have to work.  Vern is grounded so we can't go out to get pizza today but that's ok i guess the "secret" reason we really get it isn't even going to be there so oh well I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself I'll find something to do maybe if no I'll hide on the floor. 
 
Also thank you's for Herbert and my Daddy for letting me unwind on them about my paper and all that stuff.  Thank you Jesse for being there I don't know what could have happened if you were not there. 

May 1st
I went to see Phantom of the Opera today,  I love that movie it has really good music. 
I have to write a paper for English on a personal experiance...I know what I'm going to write it on but I really don't want to write it because there are emotions that are going to go into it(duh!) that just...hurt still.  I guess it will help to write about it, work through the pain...ugg

April 25th
Half days are good.  I went to lunch the food was good, company was better.  yup anyways Appareantly Red is my color and is on my face often for no real reason.... anyways Aways I painted a wheat thins box today, and cooked a Cd that i then forgot about it so it looks like a doll skirt oh well live and learn...

April 24th
prom was last night.  I have gotten like no sleep, me and Jesse where up like all night talking about well what else but, prom.  I had a really great time, much better than I thought it was going to be....But anyways... Idk I'm going to Walgreens now to drop off film from prom.  YaY

April 20th
Ok, what if I join the Peace Corps?  Just a thought but maybe I can make a diffrence in the world...just a thought and i wouldn't be for another like 10-13 years...I think I have time to deside.
 
April 18th 

Ok so my dad said that we can hang my punching bag but I have to find a place for it... where to put it now that's the question. 

I went driving with my dad.  Those times are always interesting, shifting is easy now the starting from a stop not so much, on hill much harder I must say.  I think life is like driving a stick it's way hard at first then things get easier and then you have a problem even if you are really experienced... strange thought Life being a stick shift. 

I'm looking forward to my ceramics class this summer, YaY for craftiness, nutrition not so much but I'll make it fun I'm sure that's the only way I will survive.

April 17, 2005
    6 days till prom.  There is still so much to do like picking up my dress from alterations and tickets oy vay.  I'm really sick of the way people act towards others.  Why doesn't anyone care for anyone else any more?  Maybe i value life to much... 
This week I need to: pick up dress, finalize all prom aspects, send a letter to the paper and write for my sanity.