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Random Forwards and Such nonsense

bleh you know those dang forwards
those ones that you think that are funny, cute, make you all warm and fuzzy, things boys should just know... yea all of those...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? Or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own.... when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. * What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (Even if it is that you don't care anymore)*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them? * People live, but people die. And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow, you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back. You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you if you consider them a friend as well. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and.. Always will. I LOVE YOU!!!!

So many times we feel like its just us,
No one else is there,
No one else seems to care,
It's as if it's you against the world.
 
Friends seem to fight,
They seem to run away from one another,
They seem to believe it's the other ones fault,
It's as if it's you against everyone else.
 
I know I feel as if it's just me,
I think so often that I am the only one,
And that no one cares for me,
And yes, so many times I do feel like it's me against the world.
 
I fight with my friends,
I feel like they run away,
It seems like everyone blames me,
It seems like all my friends are against me.
 
Life goes down,
And comes back up,
I know why,
But do you?
 
Life goes down cause we turn away,
It becomes better because we run back,
I know why because he loves me,
Because God loves me.
 
So many times we blame everyone else, we convince ourselves it's not our fault, that it was someone else. Why, I don't know, I never will. The only thing that I do know is that the only person that is going to always be there, no matter what, is God. Yes, I love my friends, more than anything in the world, but so many times I feel as if they have turned away, from me and many times from God. You probably all know, it hurts, when you are blamed for something you didn't do, when you friends won't talk to you and you don't know why, and it really hurts when you think you have lost a friend that you thought was a wonderful one. So just remember you have your friends, but when they aren't there, turn to God.

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a  real
memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went
                                    to 
all
field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this
memo was quite genuine. The engineers
                                    rolled on the floor! Especially
note the last couple of sentences.
 
 
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform
                                    erratically, it may
need
a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field
Replacement Units). Because of
                                    the delicate nature of this procedure,
replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained
personnel. 
 
Before proceeding, determine
                                    the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
foreign balls. Ball removal procedures
                                    differ depending upon the
manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the
pop-off method. Domestic balls
                                    are replaced by using the twist off
method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, 
excessive
handling can result in sudden
                                    discharge.
 
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person
                                    have a pair of spare balls for
maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. 
 
Any customer missing his balls
                                    should contact the local personnel in
charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in
mind that a customer without
                                    properly working balls is an unhappy
customer.

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was
ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my  mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?  Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were
for "special occasions" (her second mistake). Now fast forward a few months....
 
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began
giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom,
who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully
arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!  My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.  "But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!"

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said
no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again
he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her
face the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty you're beautiful.  I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.  And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die..."

Subject: Computers DO Have A Gender

Five reasons computers must be female...

5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message, "Bad command or file name," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

In the interest of gender equality ...

TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE

5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.

4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.

3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.

2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already got so much invested in the darn thing that they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.

1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

 

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

*****************************
THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?"
*****************************

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain the butt

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam


WHAT EVERY GIRL WANTS

Have that one hot kiss where your pressed against the wall

Have a guy that thinks you're the world

Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs

A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear

Have that moment where you just gaze into each other’s eyes

When you cry, he kisses your tears away.

When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about

Wearing his jacket and every time you breath in, his scent surrounds you

A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.

A guy who squeezes your hand

A boy that says he loves you and means it

A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window

A guy who is loyal

A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.

A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.

A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable .....not hot, fine, or sexy

A guy that will never judge you for how you look.

A boy that says cheesy stuff just to make you smile....

A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends

A boy that tells you everything honestly

A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family

A guy that wont always let you win, but sometimes

A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against

A guy who calls you at night just to say hi and see how your day has been

A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better

A boy who will sit on the phone with you when your sad, even if your quiet..

A boy who you can hangout and have fun with!

just randomly call her for no reason at all, just because you missed her

A guy who treats you the same, whether your by your self or around his friends..
A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.

A guy who would love me forever no matter the circumstance.

A guy who wouldn't mind me wanting to get all dressed up and do my make up for him. Even if he says he likes me better without make up.

A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.

 



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